Him

"Don't hope too much. It might break your little heart into pieces"

Assalamualaikum. So, TRIAL IS OVER. Or is it was? Hahaha it's confusing. Jadi saya disini nak cerita pasal seseorang. Nama dia Zfr. Kenal dia sebab tuisyen dekat ptiu sekali. Awal-awal tahun memang tak kenal seorang pun budak lelaki kecuali afiq. Tu pun sebab sekolah sama tapi tak pernah cakap pun. Masa masuk g9 tu memang tak kenal orang kecuali mimi farah dan ummu. Tapi lepak dengan mimi je. Start kenal semua orang dalam kelas tu bila mimi pindah g10. Masa tu memang sedih sangat sebab tak ada kawan. Budak lelaki first yang aku kenal ialah zfr. Apa pun semua tanya dia je sebab dia sebelah aku. Kitaorang start diskandalkan masa aku suruh dia bagitahu cikgu yang aku tak datang tuisyen sebab pergi kem. Since situ dah mula kurang cakap dengan dia sebab nanti semua mula la "eh najwa eh zfr". Then everything starts to become awkward between me and zfr. Rasa cam sedih. Then dia pindah duduk depan dengan afiq. Ya Allah masa tu rasa lonely and sedih sangat. Tapi nasib baik dia cakap "tak apa najwa. Kita okay je. Biarlah diaorang tu". Then things start to get more weirder for me. I keep trying to get his attention. And sometimes I'm feeling like a slut. But some feelings start to grow inside me. And I hate that feelings. I hope we're becoming good friends but I don't think so. And kadang-kadang dia macam bagi hope. Dia lah yang akan defend aku bila budak lelaki kacau aku. So I don't know. But I do know something. He have someone else. And I started to feel down. And I hate myself for being like this. We'll never have something between us. I know this is just my stupid feeling. And I'm just hoping that zfr is not to kind for me cause I'd prefer him to be like the other boys. Kalau dia teruskan macam ni lagilah aku jadi gila. Dan aku pasti yang perasaan aku ni tak lama pun. InsyaAllah.